Just Kidding
by comicvision
Summary: When you become a superhero, it's a little like winning the lottery. People you've long forgotten about kinda crawl out of the woodwork. Take Tony Stark. His boyfriend Steve gets kidnapped by a lunatic from Tony's past who thinks he has what it takes to be a supervillain. If that's not calling someone out, what is? Only...Steve apparently had everything under control and then some.


**Author's Note:_ This is was just for fun. It was a silly little idea that just popped into my head at random. Thanks to AkaiTsume for the beta read. Also, don't own, don't sue. I'm poor so you wouldn't get much. Maybe just some pocket lint._**

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Adjusting his tie in the mirror, Tony Stark hummed and cocked his head, admiring the fine piece of tailoring now encasing his equally fine body. He had never claimed to be anything less than narcissistic and the suit showed every hard-won cut of muscle while softening his rough, superheroing edges into something more befitting a socialite. Turning pleased brown eyes on his personal tailor, he said, "Another fine job, Mr. Addinson. I wouldn't trade your works for all the Gucci suits in my second closet."

"Thank you, Mr. Stark."

Timothy Addinson. Such a humble man for his talent. Tony smiled and stepped off the dais, looking at his current assistant – a cute little blond thing with no sass and a Hilary Duff kind of charm fresh out of high school and looking for some hours of experience. Pepper's cousin or niece or something from what Happy had said when Tony had gotten in the car that morning and found her sitting in the back seat with a neat bun, acceptable business attire for an assistant of someone as prestigious as Tony Stark, and a Stark Tablet already laid out with his agenda a la Pepper. He liked her so far, though she lacked Pepper's snap.

"Have my clothes packed up and sent to my penthouse. I'm wearing this out. Thank you again, Tim!"

Tony was already moving out the door at his usual brisk bustle, leaving poor Amy to scramble after him. At least she was halfway to keeping up. That's more than he could say for the last two assistants Pepper had sent him. Glancing at his watch, he asked, "Amy, when's the board meeting? I have enough time for lunch right? Of course I do. Are you hungry? I'm famished." Tony slid into the car and Amy managed to slide in and shut the door right as Happy pulled away from the curb. "Limaggio's, Happy. I haven't been in, y'know, forever, but I'm really feeling it right now."

"Yes, sir."

To get to Limaggio's they had to run the gauntlet of Times Square, but Tony had full faith based on sound empirical data that Happy would get them there in short order despite the lunch rush. In fact, he could almost taste –

"TONY STARK!" The crackle and fizz of adjusting reception did nothing to hide the fury behind the shout that came from every volume producing screen ad and television around them.

"Happy. Pull over."

"Pulling over."

Tony was out of the car in a flash and spinning, looking from screen to screen as the image of some masked man jumped and flickered, replacing everything with his overly dramatic helmet which shadowed his face beyond recognition.

"Iron Man," the figure went on. Tony focused in on the largest of the screens and glared. "I want you to know me as The Futurist. I am the one who will usher in a NEW age of technology that will far exceed anything Stark Industries could ever hope to produce. But first _I will see you broken_."

Tony frowned. Was it just him or did this sound personal?

"I will see you destitute. Sign over your fortune to me. Sell your mansions, your cars, your data…Or watch the man you share your life with die a horrible, agonizing death. You have until midnight, at which time you will receive a personal call from me."

The screen cut out then and Tony glanced back to find Happy already standing by the open trunk. A phone was pressed to Happy's ear, but he quickly offered it to Tony as Tony moved toward him.

"Yeah."

"Tony, it's Pepper. Steve's gone. There was an explosion in his apartment building and two of his neighbors said that he left quietly at gunpoint with a lunatic in a samurai-like helmet and cape."

"Magneto?"

"Tony! Now isn't the time to be joking around!"

"Relax, Pep. Steve's a big boy. I'm sure he's fine." Without letting her say another word and certain that she would see this abduction of all the Times Square screens on the news and would need no explanation from him, Tony ended the call and tossed Happy his phone back. "Suitcase."

"Suitcase," Happy repeated and pulled it from the trunk, handing it over.

As the Armor closed around him, Tony felt the blank shock fade from his mind. It would never not shock him when something he cared about was placed in danger because of decisions he had made. It had been his choice to pursue Steve. Steve's choice to allow the seduction. It had been Tony's choice to agree to Steve's offer of more than a fling and it had also been Tony's choice to ask him to go and collect his things today so that they could be officially cohabitating by tonight. It had been Tony's choice to reveal his identity as Iron Man to the public. It was Steve's choice that Steve Rogers remain anonymous in the lives they lived.

So Steve made a few of the decisions, but the deciding moment…the one that Tony always seemed to come back to…was when Tony abandoned anonymity for the flash and flair, the dual intimidation of money and true power, that being _known_ would bring. He'd always thought it would be Pepper that would be held against him. Pepper or maybe Rhodey. So, why had it been Steve? A capable superhero in his own right…

As the repulsors pushed him above the tallest of the buildings around him, Tony absentmindedly asked JARVIS to trace the signal. JARVIS, of course, had already begun the millisecond the suit had powered up. Whoever The Futurist was – and something kept niggling at the back of his mind about that direct verbal slap – he had better be prepared. Iron Man was not happy.

Steve sat quietly on the basement floor of an old warehouse. One that had been turned into some sort of secret base. The typical situation for this type of set-up. The Futurist had spent the last hour before he'd finished making all the right hack connections and inlaying codes and whatever the rest of the techno mumbo jumbo was he was doing, griping about how ridiculous it was that so brilliant a mind be enraptured of so pathetic a human specimen. Steve had only just barely managed to remain civil and keep from rolling his eyes. Once The Futurist had made his "big speech" and shut everything down, he turned to Steve.

"So now we wait," he said. "Tony will probably be beside himself when he puts on that ridiculous armor and starts scouring the city for you. The arrogant douchebag won't even consider giving up his everything for you because he'll believe he can find you, and you'll see how he really is. And I'll get to see him suffer. You are very attractive. Too bad that you had to choose a prick like Stark for a bedmate. I see why he chose you, though. For now any way. Just another flashy accoutrement among many."

The Futurist kept talking but Steve had stopped listening. It went on for minutes, a never-ending stream of Tony-bashing and empty come-ons. It was almost to the point where Steve wanted to just snap. Every dig at Tony that he did catch drew the muscles in his jaw tighter. This guy thought Tony was the lowest of the low. It all sounded so personal.

"The quiet type, too…No surprise. Tony wouldn't want to have someone around who might be able to argue with him or tell him he's wrong. Tell me, does he make you beg for his dick? He seems the type to want everyone on their knees and groveling."

Ok. That was it. Steve's eyes snapped up to the shadowed glare of the idiot in the mask and helmet, a vicious snarl just about to claw its way out of his throat when the ceiling gave way in a controlled explosion. The familiar whine of the repulsor that caused it slowly died in his ears as Iron Man descended to the basement floor. The Armor clanked as it touched down, gracefully turning the landing into a casual walk as the faceplate flipped up. Tony was smirking.

"Really? It's come to these sorts of…things…tactics…to get a little attention? Baby, if you wanted some love all you had to do was dig out the old costume and send me a picture."

Steve gave Tony a lopsided grin. The Futurist had startled and jumped back about two feet and now watched Tony warily as he came to a stop a few feet from where Steve sat.

"I was trying to do you a favor?"

Tony frowned. "What?"

Steve had the grace to look sheepish. "Well, you were griping about the board meeting a lot this morning and you've been really good about going to them so Pepper wouldn't limit our us time – according to you – and so I thought, if I gave you a valid excuse to get out of it she couldn't be angry and wouldn't, y'know, limit our us time."

Tony glanced briefly at The Futurist, who was just staring at the two of them stunned or confused into silence for the moment, before looking back to Steve. "You planned this."

"Maybe. In the split second it took me to decide whether or not to take out the threat or play along and figure out his game and what he might know. I'm not usually attacked like this."

"This guy, no. He doesn't know a damn thing. Do you, Adrian?"

Steve's surprised "You know him?" was overrun by The Futurist's exclaimed, "HOW DID YOU -?!"

Tony just grinned and cut him off with, "Genius, remember? And c'mon. 'The Futurist'? Really? Like I wouldn't know."

"You son of a bitch!" Adrian took a step forward but it was Steve flexing and getting to his feet that got Tony's attention. It also stopped Adrian in his tracks. The ropes that he'd so firmly bound around Steve's wrists and biceps and chest were being brushed to the ground in tatters now.

"I bet that's what you say to all of your ex-one-night-stands," Tony jibed, batting his eyelashes sidelong at Adrian and pretend pouting.

"I guess it makes sense then," Steve said and looked from Tony to Adrian, unperturbed. He was well aware of Tony's past and loved him anyway. That wasn't _his_ Tony. Not anymore. "It really did seem to be too personal."

"Of course it's personal!" Adrian shouted, but gaped when they both ignored him, looking only at each other. Steve actually found it a little hilarious, watching his would-be abductor out of the corner of his eye.

Tony reached behind him and it was then that Steve saw that he'd brought the shield. "Did you actually add a magnetic something to the suit?"

"Magnetic something?" Tony looked appalled but tossed the shield to him anyway. "Magnetic something? Steve, it's the magnetic resonance inducer I told you about two weeks ago."

Catching the shield and fitting it to his arm in one smooth motion, Steve shrugged. "You throw so many technological names at me that even the easy ones get hard to remember."

"You're choosing this…this JOCK…over someone who is your mental equal?" The quiet question got their attention and Steve frowned as he turned to look at Adrian again. He'd never been called a jock before and truthfully only knew what the word meant because of a few of the TV shows he'd watched with Thor or Agent Coulson. He'd never thought he was like that.

"This 'Jock' is my boyfriend," Tony stated in his snottiest voice. "A title you never had a chance at. College was forever ago, Adrian. Get a life. After prison that is. Kidnapping an American Icon…big no no. Oh, and the only person close to my mental equal would be like Reed Richards. So…take that."

Adrian gaped. Steve figured it was half from validated acknowledgement of whatever this was actually about and half from Tony's direct addressing of said issue. Tony, he knew, wasn't well known for getting right to the point in personal matters. Still, Steve felt no sympathy for Adrian and looked at Tony with what had to be the stupidest grin on his face.

Tony looked back as if feeling Steve's eyes on him and his face softened. "Hey, look. Can we just go, so I don't have to feel bad about embarrassing him AND kicking his ass? I have enough on my conscience. Like Pepper. She's going to be all over it when she finds out I skipped out on this board meeting to rescue my equally superhero boyfriend ..."

"Super…" The now terrified look on Adrian's face said it all. Apparently even the shield and rope tatters hadn't entirely tipped him off as to whom exactly he'd kidnapped.

Steve just ignored him. "Fake rescue," he corrected instead, moving up to stand closer to Tony than would normally be considered appropriate.

"And now we're arguing semantics. How about we just go home and fuck and not talk about this? Ever. It makes you kinda seem desperate."

"Desperate?! I was just trying to give you an excuse to skip something you hate!" Despite the seemingly harsh words, Steve continued to grin and moved in close enough for Tony to wrap one arm around his waist.

Tony's chuckle sent a shiver down Steve's spine, but the strangled noise from behind him drew his attention to Adrian one last time. "Almost forgot," he muttered and Tony raised an eyebrow. Steve threw the shield; it ricocheted off a wall and a computer before hitting Adrian hard in the back of the ridiculous helmet. The force was enough to knock him out.

"SHIELD's already been notified according to JARVIS," Tony informed him as the repulsors in his free hand and boots whined to life. "They'll be here to get him before he wakes up."

"Should we tie him up just in case?" Steve eyed the unconscious man as the shield was resettled on his arm.

"Nope. No time. Have I told you lately that you…you totally turn me on when you just…just hit things like that. Home. Now." Tony leaned his head forward as Steve looked back around at him and their lips met for a brief but hungry kiss. The faceplate snapped down when he drew back enough to be safe and Steve smirked as he tucked his face close to the Armor's neck plating. While his spur-of-the-moment plan probably couldn't be considered to have worked out flawlessly, he'd at least gotten some of what he'd wanted out of it.

**THE END**


End file.
